Yeah, This Is Knutts

Let’s Be Clear

The Internet

In Love With Alaska?

Seems to me that people have no idea who this woman is, even after a 3 month bid for the VP.  It drives me a little knutts to turn on any news channel (you pick; CNN, Fox, even local) and see at least a story on her.  More often a profile.  Hell, last night there was an hour special in her kitchen on Fox’s On the Record.

Seriously.  She was dicing veggies.  We played Halo.

Maybe That’s Why They Lost

Couldn’t have helped anyway.  People want to know who’s going to run their country.  Story after story about Obama’s mom, McCain’s prisoner of war experience, even a little on Joe Biden.  We already kn

ow everything about Hillery.  Thanks Bill.

They didn’t get her out there and now the news is doing it for them.

A Little Late?

Well, yeah.  But I’m not concerned.  Sounds like the Governer of the giant empty state (turns out Vermont and North Dekota are now less populated, along with Wyoming) will be a party power-broker, if not more.  I guess that’s good.  Alaska will finally get, uh, something.

I assume they want stuff.

Anyway

Yeah, anyway, I’m thinking that’s a big part of why they got creamed (well, plus the 50 state stratagy that Obama had going).  McCain should know better.  At least his advisors.  Apperently they’re Just Knutts.

No, Wrestling Is Not Gay

Seriously.  It’s not.  I mean, there are fetishes, yeah.  There always are, especially when we’re talking lycra (think spandex).  But that doesn’t mean it’s gay in the least.  And neither are these guys.

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That (thanks Sinefeld)

Personally, I don’t care if you’re gay.  Trust me.  Doesn’t matter.  I’m married anyway.  Nor do I care if these guys strip naked and do it in Times Square.  Doesn’t affect me.  Course, I don’t live there.  Regardless, they’re not.

No, the thing that’s Just Knutts is how someone must have figured it out.  And reported it.  That means some guy is cruising the porn site late at night, finds someone he knows, and reports it.  That’s just not how porn is supposed to work.  It’s private Dengit!

Go TEAM!

But some teams just plain play dirty.  Can’t beat him on the mat?  Beat him for helping someone beat off!

That’s right, the NCAA may have to suspend them.  It’s not a Homophobic thing by the way.  They came down on some cheerleaders for doing something similar.  It’s some kind of rule I guess.

Regardless, some guy frustrated that they kicked his ass is sitting at home, bored and lonely and decides to experiment.  Or whatever.  Then he finds the guy who just plowed him into the floor standing straight with parts standing straighter (oh, right, solo shots only here).

Not sure if he finishes himself off before calling his coach but eventually they hit a scandle website and everything went Knutts.

(Those of you wanting to see the pictures will have to find them on your own.  As a hint, here’s a site that links to a site that links to the pics.  Talk about giving myself cover.)

Who Can Blame Him?

I can’t, really.  I’d want to die to.  At the least, I’m good with him getting fried.  Or needled.  Or stabbed.  Or thrown off a bridge.  Whatever.

18 Years

He’s already spent 18 years in prison for a series of rapes.  Who knows what (or who) he did while he was there?  And now, 9 months after he gets out, poof.  Let’s rob, rape, kidnap and finally strangle Tiffani with her own bikini.

Yeah, great guy.  Should write a book.

Real Loss to Humanity?

Uh, no.  Even if they don’t give him the death penalty, they’ll be passing him along to Alabama and Tennessee.  He raped at least one woman in each state.  Really, screw that.

If you’re not going to stick a needle in him you can always leave him alone with his shoelaces.  Your conscience should be clear.  After all, he’s Just Knutts.

Ah, Nostalgia

Remember when you were a kid, playing in the park, wrapping each other up like mummies.  Oh yeah, undead fun.  Heck, I don’t know anyone who didn’t do some kind of random tie up game as a kid, so it makes sense to stretch the toilet paper to a pole.

Then you light it on fire.

Stop, Drop and Aw Crap

Yeah, Tyler was tied to a pole.  Not like this kid can hit the ground, regardless of what his mommy taught him.  He’s stuck, burning and if you’ve ever lit toilet paper on fire you know it goes up quick.  I have (you don’t want to know).

A Witch!

Yeah, they burned an 11-year-old at the stake.  Literally.  Just.  I mean.  There aren’t words for this.  And it happened near my house.  I want to trash these kids.  What the Hell!

It Gets Worse

His brother tried to stomp the flames out after getting him loose.  Not the best plan, but better than nothing I suppose.  Problem is the toilet paper got caught on his foot or something and it too caught on fire.

So he tries to kick it off, throwing his shoe back into Tyler’s face.  Lords of mercy, that kid got screwed and his brother needs therapy.

If the little fire starter wasn’t arrested, the cops are Just Knutts.

It’s Hard Dealing With Kids

Could drive a guy to drink.  On a bus.  With the kids.  Really, I’m sure all parents would agree.

I guess that’s not too bad.  I mean, I’d never do it but I don’t drink either, so that makes sense.  But, while the driver would usually kick you off (”Yeah, dude, get on the next one when you’re finished”), that’s not the case here because the drunk guy was driving.  Great.

The Wheeles on the Bus Go Crash, Crash, Crash

Boom.  Slammed into light pole. Naturally.

Was bound to happen sometime.  Might as well be on a field trip to, get this, a Summer Camp with the Jewish Community Center.

Might as Well Run

He fled.  Guess it makes sense when you’re drunk.  If he weren’t, he probably would have realized the half-dozen ways  they could find him.  Such as, say, who was driving that bus today?  Or the 6 kids sitting right behind him when he jumped out.  No, didn’t occur to him.

Insteand, he’s Just Knutts.

[Update: The story has been revised to say he was ill of meds and fled to puke in a bathroom.  Uhhu, whatever.]

It’s What 911 is Good For

That’s right, not only can we no longer catch, cook or kill our own food, now we can’t even order it without help.  From the police.

Subway Sucks?

No.  This guy does.  He walked into a Subway, ordered 2 sandwhiches and walked out with them.  Ok, we’re good so far.

Well, they weren’t quite perfect.  I guess stuff was missing on the sandwiches.  Again, no biggie.  We’ve all gone back into McDonalds or whatever to say, “Uh, I ordered a Coke, not lemonade.”    They fix it.  You move on.  It’s when he started screaming at both employees and customers that it became a problem.

Go Figure

It gets worse.  He left, prompting the employees to lock the door (to protect themselves from the crazy freak), while he called 911.  Twice.  Seems they didn’t rescue his lunch fast enough.

Long story short, they arrested him and threw the sandwiches away (that’s how he wanted it).  Now he can eat prison food.

Yeah, if he thinks they’ll put everything he wants on it, he’s Just Knutts.

Giving Back To Spammers, Phishers, Con-artists

Yup, own a website and want to keep spammers, phishers and con-artists away from your e-mail, phone and front door?  Too bad.  If you’ve got a .us, you’ve lost it.  Gone.  Poof.

And it only applies to people in the US too. Guess the U.S. Commerce Department thought screwing us was fun.  Must be IRS fans.  Who knew?

Losing Domain Privacy

Domain privacy, in layman’s terms, is hiding your info on the WHOIS database.  By ICANN regulation, everyone who owns a domain has to show their personal info online.  Come to think of it, I have no idea why. . .

Anyway, registrars like GoDaddy and Fast Domain got around it by “owning” the domain themselves, using their own info and “letting” the customer use it.

That way your e-mail isn’t out there for spammers, phishers, and con-artists.

Con-artists?

Oh yeah, these people send you mail, claiming things about your domain, website or whatever. Just mail out thousands and screw whomever falls for it.  They’re good too and some will even show up at your house.  After all, your address is in there.  Why not give it a go?

Not sure if anyone (aside from the post office) is happy about it.  I’m certainly not.  Neither is Godaddy.

Registrar Reaction?

They’re pissed.  GoDaddy has brought out lawyers galore, who are using some pretty scary language with the press.  Aperently some of their customers have stalkers, which isn’t surprising considering how intense some websites out there really are.

Others seem to be calling congressmen, hitting the media and making a stink.

Why is GoDaddy the one hitting hard?

Money.  Godaddy has it and they’re losing it.  Majorly.  Godaddy charges 8.99 per domain.  They just lost $206,770/year.  More as .us registration continues to rise.  Yeah, I’d be livid.

Other registrars, like Bluehost, Hostmonster and Fast Domain offer privacy free, so they’re weighing their options, waiting to see what they can afford and gauging their customers’ response.  Will they chip in cash and lawyers?  I dunno.  But I bet they’ll be passing as much information to GoDaddy’s lawyers as they can.

Why?

The Commerce Department wants to feel powerful, relevant and they finally realized penis enlargement doesn’t work. Want your say?  Hit their contact page.

Seems like they’re trying to give back. But, really, they’re Just Knutts.

It’s Night.  He’ll sleep.

We’ve all heard it before.  Heck, some of us have done it, though never for more than a few minutes.  Dry Cleaner, poof, back in the minivan.

But, sheesh, what kind of man sticks their 2 y/o in the car for hours while watching, well, anything, let alone The Dark Knight.  The Bruce Wayne, no parents thing, is a major metaphor here.

Anyone Angry?

Think you’re pissed?  The police weren’t happy about it either.  After bringing in the fire department–to “open” the car–they came in to drag the guy out.  Unfortunately he went quietly.

Seems two managers from the theater itself came in too.  Guess they wanted to explain why they stopped  one of the biggest movies of the year, right at the climax, just for one guy.  I don’t think anyone was really all that upset.  Well, not at the theater anyway.

Oh, yeah.  Seems people were throwing popcorn and booing him.  If I’d been there, I’d have hit him with my drink.  Screw the refill; I don’t need it.  Eat sticky.

How Long?

Good question.  No ones mentioned the time the kid was in there.   Guess they haven’t asked the 2 year-old if he noticed the clock.  But let’s do the math.

The Dark Knight is 2 hours and 30 minutes long + Trailers.  But let’s a assume the guy got there just as it started.  Anyway, they grabbed him 10 minutes before the movie ended.  Anyone having trouble with the numbers?

This piece of trash left his son in there for 2 and a half HOURS.  Not 2 minutes.  This isn’t a quick drop into a gas station here.  I mean:

It’s Just Knutts

Batman would kick his ass.

Logical Fallacies

This has been a pet peeve of my since I took a course in college on logic.  Well, logic and using it in arguments.  Ad Hominem (short for something I cant remember and don’t want to look up) means attacking the person rather than the argument.  Its usually a sign of not knowing how to refute something you don’t believe or appealing to those who don’t understand the complexity.

More simply, you can either say, “No, you can’t fix Social Security that way because. . .” or call them a “big baby”.

Sadly, the later works better, as evidenced by politics.

Attacking the Person

Attacking the Argument

There is no more fundamental American right than the right to vote. Before the landmark 1965 Voting Rights Act, barriers such as literacy tests, poll taxes and property requirements disenfranchised many Americans, especially minorities. More than 40 years later, there are still numerous obstacles to ensuring that every citizen has the ability to vote.

-Obama Campaign

Yeah, This is Knutts

Now, I’m not saying I’m pro-Obama, though I’m sure some people will take it that way.  I’m just saying Americans aren’t stupid; they don’t like being treated that way and it’s a big part of why people don’t vote.

Really, it’s just Knutts.