Posted by Brent2 on Jan 6, 2009 in
Tech Trouble
Tech Guys Hate Americans (but not America)
They do. Really. It’s not because we know nothing about Linux or can’t do the contortion required for Mac shortcuts. It’s cause we don’t try; we don’t talk; we don’t listen.
We don’t know techs. They’re simple.
10. Stroke His Ego a Little
See, most likely he lives in his mom’s basement, playing WoW and avoiding girls. They make him nervous. If you can say something nice to him, maybe make him feel smart, he’ll want to help you.
Put differently, his ego is the only thing someone else is going to stroke for the next year. Throw the guy a bone.
9. He Knows More Than You
Probably. That’s most likely why you called him. At the least, he can do more than you. Don’t be condescending, argumentitive or otherwise
8. Girls Can Do It Too
I know I’ve said “he” throughout this whole thing–and I’ll continue to do so–but I’ve known some dang good female techs. Often they’re better at grasping the overall picture better than the males and they’re almost always more empathetic. The problem? Well, lines like:
“Now I know the meaning of misogyny.”
“Yeah, I want a tech who knows what he’s talking about.”
“Yeah, you’re a bitch. It’s my right to put whatever the Hell I want on my website. Just because you chicks don’t like rape scenes don’t mean you can take ‘em down.”
I’ve heard all three. Not only does the woman helping you stop, the techs around her hear about it. Then someone notes your account. Then someone reads it later when you call back. And that person doesn’t help you.
7. They Don’t Have Social Skills
Not true of all of them. But most don’t. There are levels of course. There’s the guy who’s high functioning Asperger’s and the guy who just occasionally says something wrong.
But you shouldn’t expect them to be sales or customer service. It’s not their skill. You’re calling for the other skill.
Deal with the deficit.
6. They Don’t Even Care If You Stay With the Company
Why should they? It’s someone else’s job to bring people into the fold. It’s their job to fix problems. They don’t like you, dislike you or otherwise want to help you. They’re only nice because that’s how they keep their job (and inflatable girlfriend).
They like fixing problems. They’re frustrated when they can’t. They’re happy when an asshole leaves.
If you don’t, they just have to deal with you again in a week.
Tags: Customer Service, Girls, Linux, Support, World of Warcraft
Posted by Brent2 on Jan 6, 2009 in
Tech Trouble
5. It’s Not That You Didn’t Get an Answer, It’s That You Didn’t Like the One You Got
Don’t ask the question again, in a different way. Don’t say they’re wrong. You can try to understand, say you don’t understand, even mention that you’re having trouble because you understood something else. Let them explain.
But asking the question repeatedly, in different ways, again and again. Well, most of these guys are graded on phone time. They won’t want to answer your next question. Then you’re lacking info. And now you’re screwed.
4. Finish Your Statements
Normally the reason techs don’t understand is because you don’t finish your sentences. For example, think about this.
“Well, when I open Word a box comes up that says. . .see I was working on this project and then I forgot to save. . .wait, that’s not the beginning of the story. What’s going on is I installed Word and it went fine. Now I’m trying to open a file my sister sent me. When I do, oh, right, she sent it through e-mail. If that matters. But see when I open it, this box comes up that says. . .”
It’ll go on like that. Explanation after explanation without ever giving the problem. Then you’ll get mad at them because they’re obviously not listening. Now you’re frustrated, they’re exasperated and suddenly you’re cutting each other off. Put it differently, try using a friggen noun.
You have to finish your sentences for them to help you.
3. Let Them Finish Theirs
No kidding. They’re probably answering their question in a way that teaches you something. The moment you interrupt them and say “That’s not what I’m doing” they decide you’re an arrogant shit and just try to get rid of you.
Think about it. Your question was “Can I use my cell phone as an alarm to wake me up?”. They need to tell you that you can but if you have your phone on silent, it’ll vibrate rather than screech.
But the moment they say “You will need to have your volume turned up”, you say “I’m not asking about the volume!”.
Well, fine then. Jerk. “Yes, you can use it as an alarm. Turn it on here.”
They’re fine with you waking up an hour or two late because you can’t hear carpet vibrate. Or having your computer freeze due to overheating. Or your business fail because you’re rude to them. See, remember,
2. Techs Don’t Care About You
They care about the problem. They’re freaks who live in their mother’s basement (or the equivelant) and spend all their time fixing, well, something. Anything from problems with their MMO character to a global virus outbreak to a Ford Pinto.
Let me say this again: They don’t care about you.
1. They Care About the Problem
You should be happy about this. Most techs will get intrigued by weird and new, well, technical failures. This is the reason we made it to the moon, got cell phones and can drive to work faster than 30 MPH.
It’s not that weird. Hit them with the issue and once they understand you could literally watch their eyes light up. If you weren’t on the phone. Yeah, they’ll get frustrated and growl, maybe some good cursing. But they won’t stop. They almost can’t stop.
Even so, it gets fixed. If you’re nice, patient and they’re capable.
Tags: Customer Service, Ford, Virus, World of Warcraft
Posted by Brent2 on Nov 21, 2008 in
Tech Trouble
Different?
Sorta. See, I wrote this to my family a few minutes ago. They’d been informed that I temporarally had a new number due to a broken phone. I had to explain why I suddenly didn’t have one. It became a rant, which is what this site is meant for.
[For reference, Shawn and Shad are also family. Just not the kind I have to e-mail.]
It Starts Out Happy, as Most Things in Bed Do
Basically, we figured we could save money by taking the phone away from Shawn’s sister, who’s pregnant; living in Colorado and, due to both those things, isn’t exactly financially solvent. We were right about the money saving part.
So what’s the problem? See, we didn’t want to deal with that whole phone number crossover thing, even if we’re still working on getting my old number tied to the new cell. So, unsurprisingly, we had them change numbers. It worked. Until it didn’t.
At 11 AM it was up and running fine. Really, it was great. Cool new phone, happily learning new settings (and a cool phone number saving feature). At 1:30? Bam. Goes funky.
T-Mobile Can’t Find Their <Blip!> With Their Head Stuck Up It
I call out. It connects, briefly, then “call ended”. What the flip? I was at work, without a working phone of course, so Shawn called T-Mobile multiple times. T-Mobile couldn’t figure out what was wrong. By that I mean, they literally couldn’t figure out that we were having trouble.
I listened to Shawn explain it to them again. He laid it out, clearer than I have. They kept saying that it looks like stuff is working and the account’s active. So there isn’t a problem.
Yeah,
T-Mobile seems to be full of deaf morons.
Instead, We Figure Out Said Problem
Not that we can solve it. But once we had our phones together we could test stuff. Guess what we found? Yeah, pretty obvious if you jump up a paragraph or two.
See, texting worked. So I sent one to Shad. He looked at it. The number listed was the old number, tied to the old phone, which is sitting in Colorado. Apperently, it reverted.
Yeah, Read Your Fricken Screen People
We of course told them we’d switched numbers earlier. And even that the old phone was working suddenly. We were even getting calls from it! I don’t know about you, but when someone reads a number to me over the phone, I read it off the screen. Stuff like that can tell you a lot. It’s basic problem solving.
I’m Not an Expert
To be fair, I don’t know the cell phone technology. I make servers work. But, to me, if you take the next logical step, you can figure out why it’s not calling out. Sorta.
See, I make a call and the tower picks it up and looks at the number. Suddenly it’s trying to make the connection to a phone in another state. That phone isn’t making a call. Oh, you must have hung up. Click.
Texting works fine because the connection is fast enough. That’s enough for a server guy anyway.
It’s Broken, Make it Work
Now, how to fix the problem? I dunno. As I said, I’m not a cell phone guy. But that’s all the info I usually get. ”My site isn’t working. Fix it.” Half the time they can’t describe the error; I have to find it. When you know what you’re doing, you can usually figure it out. And even solve it.
Seems to be you re-sync the number though. Not that hard. If it’s fighting you, do what I do:
Ask a tech guy who knows more than you. Gee, go figure.
Prideful idiots.
Hell, I’ve got a whole support system for the support guys. Very efficient, very pyramid like. Very common.
I Get It
We complain that our customers can’t read (and sometimes can’t talk). Thing is, these guys take it step further. Reps who can’t listen. Combine the two, and it’s
Just Knutts .
[Update: They figured it out. The number had reverted but the Sime cards hadn't. So one Sim was deactivated but the other was using a number that T-Mobile didn't recognize.]
Tags: Cell phone, Fricken Idiots, T-Mobile, Tech Support
Posted by Brent2 on Aug 5, 2008 in
Just Knutts,
Tech Trouble
Giving Back To Spammers, Phishers, Con-artists
Yup, own a website and want to keep spammers, phishers and con-artists away from your e-mail, phone and front door? Too bad. If you’ve got a .us, you’ve lost it. Gone. Poof.
And it only applies to people in the US too. Guess the U.S. Commerce Department thought screwing us was fun. Must be IRS fans. Who knew?
Losing Domain Privacy
Domain privacy, in layman’s terms, is hiding your info on the WHOIS database. By ICANN regulation, everyone who owns a domain has to show their personal info online. Come to think of it, I have no idea why. . .
Anyway, registrars like GoDaddy and Fast Domain got around it by “owning” the domain themselves, using their own info and “letting” the customer use it.
That way your e-mail isn’t out there for spammers, phishers, and con-artists.
Con-artists?
Oh yeah, these people send you mail, claiming things about your domain, website or whatever. Just mail out thousands and screw whomever falls for it. They’re good too and some will even show up at your house. After all, your address is in there. Why not give it a go?
Not sure if anyone (aside from the post office) is happy about it. I’m certainly not. Neither is Godaddy.
Registrar Reaction?
They’re pissed. GoDaddy has brought out lawyers galore, who are using some pretty scary language with the press. Aperently some of their customers have stalkers, which isn’t surprising considering how intense some websites out there really are.
Others seem to be calling congressmen, hitting the media and making a stink.
Why is GoDaddy the one hitting hard?
Money. Godaddy has it and they’re losing it. Majorly. Godaddy charges 8.99 per domain. They just lost $206,770/year. More as .us registration continues to rise. Yeah, I’d be livid.
Other registrars, like Bluehost, Hostmonster and Fast Domain offer privacy free, so they’re weighing their options, waiting to see what they can afford and gaging their customers’ response. Will they chip in cash and lawyers? I dunno. But I bet they’ll be passing as much information to GoDaddy’s lawyers as they can.
Why?
The Commerce Department wants to feel powerful, relevant and finally realized penis enlargement doesn’t work. Want your say? Hit their contact page.
Seems like they’re trying to give back. But, really, they’re Just Knutts.
Tags: Bluehost, con-artists, Domains, Fast Domain, GoDaddy, Hostmonster, ICANN, Phishers, privacy, Spammers, stalkers, US Commerce Department