Posted by Brent2 on Jan 6, 2009 in
Tech Trouble
Tech Guys Hate Americans (but not America)
They do. Really. It’s not because we know nothing about Linux or can’t do the contortion required for Mac shortcuts. It’s cause we don’t try; we don’t talk; we don’t listen.
We don’t know techs. They’re simple.
10. Stroke His Ego a Little
See, most likely he lives in his mom’s basement, playing WoW and avoiding girls. They make him nervous. If you can say something nice to him, maybe make him feel smart, he’ll want to help you.
Put differently, his ego is the only thing someone else is going to stroke for the next year. Throw the guy a bone.
9. He Knows More Than You
Probably. That’s most likely why you called him. At the least, he can do more than you. Don’t be condescending, argumentitive or otherwise
8. Girls Can Do It Too
I know I’ve said “he” throughout this whole thing–and I’ll continue to do so–but I’ve known some dang good female techs. Often they’re better at grasping the overall picture better than the males and they’re almost always more empathetic. The problem? Well, lines like:
“Now I know the meaning of misogyny.”
“Yeah, I want a tech who knows what he’s talking about.”
“Yeah, you’re a bitch. It’s my right to put whatever the Hell I want on my website. Just because you chicks don’t like rape scenes don’t mean you can take ‘em down.”
I’ve heard all three. Not only does the woman helping you stop, the techs around her hear about it. Then someone notes your account. Then someone reads it later when you call back. And that person doesn’t help you.
7. They Don’t Have Social Skills
Not true of all of them. But most don’t. There are levels of course. There’s the guy who’s high functioning Asperger’s and the guy who just occasionally says something wrong.
But you shouldn’t expect them to be sales or customer service. It’s not their skill. You’re calling for the other skill.
Deal with the deficit.
6. They Don’t Even Care If You Stay With the Company
Why should they? It’s someone else’s job to bring people into the fold. It’s their job to fix problems. They don’t like you, dislike you or otherwise want to help you. They’re only nice because that’s how they keep their job (and inflatable girlfriend).
They like fixing problems. They’re frustrated when they can’t. They’re happy when an asshole leaves.
If you don’t, they just have to deal with you again in a week.
Tags: Customer Service, Girls, Linux, Support, World of Warcraft
Posted by Brent2 on Jan 6, 2009 in
Tech Trouble
5. It’s Not That You Didn’t Get an Answer, It’s That You Didn’t Like the One You Got
Don’t ask the question again, in a different way. Don’t say they’re wrong. You can try to understand, say you don’t understand, even mention that you’re having trouble because you understood something else. Let them explain.
But asking the question repeatedly, in different ways, again and again. Well, most of these guys are graded on phone time. They won’t want to answer your next question. Then you’re lacking info. And now you’re screwed.
4. Finish Your Statements
Normally the reason techs don’t understand is because you don’t finish your sentences. For example, think about this.
“Well, when I open Word a box comes up that says. . .see I was working on this project and then I forgot to save. . .wait, that’s not the beginning of the story. What’s going on is I installed Word and it went fine. Now I’m trying to open a file my sister sent me. When I do, oh, right, she sent it through e-mail. If that matters. But see when I open it, this box comes up that says. . .”
It’ll go on like that. Explanation after explanation without ever giving the problem. Then you’ll get mad at them because they’re obviously not listening. Now you’re frustrated, they’re exasperated and suddenly you’re cutting each other off. Put it differently, try using a friggen noun.
You have to finish your sentences for them to help you.
3. Let Them Finish Theirs
No kidding. They’re probably answering their question in a way that teaches you something. The moment you interrupt them and say “That’s not what I’m doing” they decide you’re an arrogant shit and just try to get rid of you.
Think about it. Your question was “Can I use my cell phone as an alarm to wake me up?”. They need to tell you that you can but if you have your phone on silent, it’ll vibrate rather than screech.
But the moment they say “You will need to have your volume turned up”, you say “I’m not asking about the volume!”.
Well, fine then. Jerk. “Yes, you can use it as an alarm. Turn it on here.”
They’re fine with you waking up an hour or two late because you can’t hear carpet vibrate. Or having your computer freeze due to overheating. Or your business fail because you’re rude to them. See, remember,
2. Techs Don’t Care About You
They care about the problem. They’re freaks who live in their mother’s basement (or the equivelant) and spend all their time fixing, well, something. Anything from problems with their MMO character to a global virus outbreak to a Ford Pinto.
Let me say this again: They don’t care about you.
1. They Care About the Problem
You should be happy about this. Most techs will get intrigued by weird and new, well, technical failures. This is the reason we made it to the moon, got cell phones and can drive to work faster than 30 MPH.
It’s not that weird. Hit them with the issue and once they understand you could literally watch their eyes light up. If you weren’t on the phone. Yeah, they’ll get frustrated and growl, maybe some good cursing. But they won’t stop. They almost can’t stop.
Even so, it gets fixed. If you’re nice, patient and they’re capable.
Tags: Customer Service, Ford, Virus, World of Warcraft