10 Tricks to Talking to Tech (Support), Part 1
Tech Guys Hate Americans (but not America)
They do. Really. It’s not because we know nothing about Linux or can’t do the contortion required for Mac shortcuts. It’s cause we don’t try; we don’t talk; we don’t listen.
We don’t know techs. They’re simple.
10. Stroke His Ego a Little
See, most likely he lives in his mom’s basement, playing WoW and avoiding girls. They make him nervous. If you can say something nice to him, maybe make him feel smart, he’ll want to help you.
Put differently, his ego is the only thing someone else is going to stroke for the next year. Throw the guy a bone.
9. He Knows More Than You
Probably. That’s most likely why you called him. At the least, he can do more than you. Don’t be condescending, argumentitive or otherwise
8. Girls Can Do It Too
I know I’ve said “he” throughout this whole thing–and I’ll continue to do so–but I’ve known some dang good female techs. Often they’re better at grasping the overall picture better than the males and they’re almost always more empathetic. The problem? Well, lines like:
“Now I know the meaning of misogyny.”
“Yeah, I want a tech who knows what he’s talking about.”
“Yeah, you’re a bitch. It’s my right to put whatever the Hell I want on my website. Just because you chicks don’t like rape scenes don’t mean you can take ‘em down.”
I’ve heard all three. Not only does the woman helping you stop, the techs around her hear about it. Then someone notes your account. Then someone reads it later when you call back. And that person doesn’t help you.
7. They Don’t Have Social Skills
Not true of all of them. But most don’t. There are levels of course. There’s the guy who’s high functioning Asperger’s and the guy who just occasionally says something wrong.
But you shouldn’t expect them to be sales or customer service. It’s not their skill. You’re calling for the other skill.
Deal with the deficit.
6. They Don’t Even Care If You Stay With the Company
Why should they? It’s someone else’s job to bring people into the fold. It’s their job to fix problems. They don’t like you, dislike you or otherwise want to help you. They’re only nice because that’s how they keep their job (and inflatable girlfriend).
They like fixing problems. They’re frustrated when they can’t. They’re happy when an asshole leaves.
If you don’t, they just have to deal with you again in a week.